66) ...

i noe i haven blogged in a long time.. too lazy la.. niwae, went to P. Ubin after 10 yrs of not being dere.. went to Alpha & Kakek joined us too.. really appreciate dat he wanna come though i noe it was gonna be hard for him to mingle around.. but i think wif apid being dere, it helped him to ease down a bit.. overall, it was definitely a great trip though my arse hurts from all dat cycling.. i think its a gud way to bond with each other.. pictures can be found on my facebook soon,hmmmmm, i think... lazy la...

had seafood wif kakek for dinner after cycling cum rambutan cum durian finding trip @ Teh Tarik JW.. but 2 days ago, i had seafood again wif, guess who... my dearest long-lost-irritating-pen-pal-forever-but-hardly-see Seah!! we had 3 chilli crabs, sambal pari, kang kong & tom yam soup.. & guess wat? Seah can really finish up e crabs... i dunno wats e word used for lunch cum dinner.. dats wat we had.. too late of a lunch but too early for a dinner... hahhahah...

the reason y i wanted to blog was actually cos of e Late Michael Jackson.. i had chills wen i saw e news on CNA.. as much as my generation do not wanna admit, i'm sure he has at least a bit of impact in ur growing life.. for me, i simply LURVE him.. as a kid, my wish was to meet him & hug him.. hahahha.. lame but its true.. & at P.6, i cried in a cassette selling shop cos i really wanted the 2 cassette limited edition HIStory album (if i'm not mistaken).. a few days before e drama in dat shop, i've already cried my heart out, literally begging my mum to buy me dat, everytime i saw e advertisement on tv.. but dat album was borrowed by my sis's ex-bf & never returned since.. i think i din speak to my sis for a while bcos she refused to call dat guy to get my album back... i hated her for dat... hmmmph!!

niwae, despite all e negative issues & controversies dat he had created, millions of people worldwide feel e pain when e news was broadcasted.. we, e fans, forgived him, irregardless of any of his so-called 'wrong-doings'.. to Michael Jackson, u r always my King of Pop.. Thank you for giving us e beautiful music dat connects us regardless of our skin colour that touches many hearts all over e world.. Rest in Peace, my Idol.... & i'm proud to admit dat i'm a HUGE fan of u,anytime...

Michael Jackson

1958 - 2009

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

65) we finally had E talks

to begin wif, 'we' refer to my frenz.. thank God, e air is cleared.. i'm glad i brought up e issue cos i finally know wat my frenz r doing & at least we haf a better understanding of y we do e thing dat we did.. i certainly understand dat my frenz r protective of me & my relationship & they do wan me to b happy.. like they say, 'rambut same hitam, hati lain-lain', which simply means i may or may not agree on how they go about doing it.. but i know dat they do luv me,all e same & i noe dat i can turn to my frenz anytime for their support..

another 'we' refers to kakek & me.. we finally had E talk after soo loong.. nothing concrete but at least i noe where i stand & whether i need to prepare for e future.. i think both of us r not ready in a way or another, for whatsoever reasons eg financially, emotionally etc.. both of us r preoccupied wif e things going on rite now in our lifes dat IT is not gonna happen any time soon..

Insya Allah one day we'll b united but its all in God's hand.. wat we can do is plan but He decides it all.. watever happens now, i felt relieved wen we had E talk.. i think he has doubts on whether i am ready or not... but wat i believe in is a person will never b ready for anything until he/she is thrown into e situation.. & as for me, i noe i can do it if i wanna do it.. so for now, i really need to change my life, at least bit in terms of how i see things, how i do things, to be better prepared..

anyway, its a saturday but i'm heading to work now.. will be working till 1am tonight.. u guys haf a gud weekend ya!!

xoxo,gilerazgal

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

64) wat more can i do...

to my dearest frenz whom i loved dearly, plz do not be offended by wat u r going to read.. u noe me... i expressed myself freely.. so plz... i need u guys to understand,not to avoid e issue.. & if u think i'm wrong, plz call me.. plz dun talk behind my back.. u noe i welcome confrontations.. i guess tis is e only avenue dat i can speak freely & clearly bcos i can't call u guys as its 3am in e morn.. but tis is how i feel.. plz try to understand wat i'm trying to say here instead of jumping to conclusions..

sumtimes i feel wen i talk to u guys about J, everyone wud juz go,"hmmmmm..." or "ah...." or " we haven seen him in a while..." y cant u guys juz talk about him freely around me? y cant u guys understand dat its perfectly okay for him to meet me as normal frenz? y do u guys need to confront him about meeting me?

i noe u all care & concerned about me & daus..i really do.. but dun worry.. wateva unhappiness or problems dat we r or going to encounter is definitely not bcos of J.. i need u guys to understand dat i really haf moved on & i can accept e fact dat he is my fren now.. i am perfectly happy wif daus even though our relationship has flaws, but i'm happy.. dere will be no way i'm gonna leave daus bcos of J.. i dunno wat will happen in e future but my relationship wif J is e same kind of friendship dat i haf wif u guys.. he's aint any different...

i lurve u guys & i noe dat u guys r very very concerned about me.. i appreciate it lots... & though u guys show it differently from wat i expect, at least i noe u guys care.. thank you.. but juz tone down a bit on worrying about J k? Nothing to worry about ya... I hope tis will clear e issues or concerns u guys haf.. i lurve u & u noe who u r... muacks!!!

becos all of us haf our differences, dats wat makes our group special.. & we haf our own wys of being protective of each other.. i noe.. =)

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

63) my dream finally came true....

pRoUd oWnEr oF tIs SuPeRfOur VtEc SpEc III nOw.. 010609

oh ya... since i haf a name for my gilera, Maman (which is soooo very e melayu), i shall call tis one rite here, DiNo... =)

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...