Juz my tot of e day..

how to turn back time or make it go slower....?
wat is to be done to make things right.....?
wen peeps say things happen for a reason,
wat is e reason...?
wen u say u've found E ONE,
wat do u mean by e one....?


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

nowadays i'm always tired.. recently, i sprained my back not bcos of i fell but bcos of my bike falling.. had a jab den 2 urut sessions so now a bit better la.. in fact,much better.. think i'm tired easily cos of e way i walked la.. deither dat or i'm too busy handling my late ayah's stuff.. tis is another headache to me..

i admit dat i'm more modern,more educated than e rest of my family (education-wise),more forward.. bcos of this, i think my ibu misinterpret this.. i juz wanna be a part of wat she's doing so i noe wats going on.. i called up all e necessary agencies to find out more about wat shud & has to be done.. yet,i'm misunderstood.. i'm sorry if i'm more forward than my elder sister... only mama understands y i'm doing tis..

i feel unappreciated & misunderstood.. i only wan ayah's things to be settled & do wats necessary.. my sista push me to be in charge.. but wat else can i say if ibu feels dat way? my only hope is dat ayah noes dat i'm doing tis for everbody but not for my own gud only.. & bcos of tis, i feel so tired.. shud i explain myself? i think i've already explained enough & its up to them on wat they wanna think..


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

i miz my ayah tremendously now..

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

a lot of things happened since e laz time i blogged..
shall start wif myself.. on 14th,i din realized dat my side stand was not open fully so bike fell la.. den e clever me din let go of the handle & i slowly squat down,following e motion of my falling bike.. dunno wat happened but the next day,my back hurts like hell.. fast forward a few days later,it got worst.. so on 18th went to A&E to get a jab.. u noe wat? i din even wait for 5 mins den my queue no was up.. u muz go on a sunday before 9pm.. practically like no one's dere.. so... yesterday din go work cos it was hell wen i took a shower so i noe i cant last e whole day at work.. but i am much much betta today cos yesterday a makcik urut me for more than 2hrs for $50.. cheap & she was really gud.. so i guez she will b my permanent makcik urut.. hehehe

niwae,on 18th is my ayah's 40th day kenduri.. did it at my sis place.. did i cry? yes,i did.. i remembered e day wen he was coughing out blood.. how much he was suffering.. e pain reflects on his face.. i nid to really stop crying.. Al-Fateha to ayah..
after e kenduri, i went to A&E as mentioned above. i juz stepped into my hse for 5 mins den mama received a phonecall saying dat Farhan,my step-cousin,had passed away at SGH.. so off we went to SGH & saw a lot of kakek's frenz dere.. we were all dere for the same person.. at such a young age of 26,he left tis world in an accident where he was an innocent party.. hopefully,justice will be served.. niwae,i was quite amazed at his mum's reaction.. cik esah was very calm & i din even see her cry.. all she did was to kiss her son & stroke his hair repeatedly..
Al-Fateha for Arwah Farhan.. & i hope Cik Esah & family will be strong.. Insya Allah..

& after soo long of not meeting him, i saw him at e hospital.. my dearest abg amir (step-bro).. i cried & hugged & bit him cos i miz him sooooooooo much.. & i was worried cos they said dat he went onboard for work.. i dun think so.. short hair & beefed up body, i think i noe where he went to.. but he said he dun wan bapak to worry & dats e reason y he lied about his whereabouts.. but its ok.. as long as he's alive & doing fine, i dun mind about e past.. he's my bro & i luv him.. i juz dun wan him to go back to his old days..
ok.. i'm tired of typing.. i'm going back to sleep cos e medication for my back is really powerful.. i can fall asleep within 30 mins & can sleep for 4 to 5 hrs straight.. gud ah e pills... hehehe

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

i'm bored & i dunno wat to do...

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

nowadays i dunno wat to think or wat to say or wat to do.. i'm lost,i think.. lost in my own world.. wen i'm happy,den i'm happy lor.. wen i'm down, den like dat lor.. i dun even noe wat interesting to blog about... teruk sia..

niwae, wanted to blog about tis e other day but i kinda forgot... see... i'm getting forgetful nowadays too.. haiz... well aniwae, on 4th Oct, i went to kubur to see ayah on his 30th day dere.. of cos i cried & all,i admit... den i went to my nenek's & my yai's place too cos it was nearby to ayah's.. oh!! i went alone,u noe.. for e 1st time ever in my life, i went to e cemetery alone.. here comes e funny story..

so tis is my attempt at drawing to u e map of e cemetery btwn those 3 people.. dunno if u can see.. but i shall explain anyway.. my bike is dat little yellow box on e far left.. i cant remember yai's plot no so i anyhow guess la.. after parking dere,i went e opposite way & walked towards Z which is 200m away from my bike.. den realizing dat i made a mistake, i u-turned & i walked back to A.. den finally i found Yai's after 15mins.. den i tried finding nenek's & walked around another 15 mins cos i forgot her plot no too.. den...(here comes e funny part)... I FORGOR WHERE I PARKED MY BIKE.. so i went back to Yai's at C den walked around D den walked around the whole of block 20,walking passed E & F & den finally found my bike.. in an attempt not to look stupid cos it was a sunday & dere's lots of people, i walked s.l.o.w.l.y as if i'm strolling in a park.. xtion jer.. padahal malu sey....
den i start my bike & passed C & D again & passed ayah's den i finally managed to get out from e cemetery.. so it was like a field trip @ e cemetery for me.. so dere... my excursion on sunday041009.. =)

NiwaE, WaNnA sAy HapPy HaPpY BIrD-DaY tO mY mOsT 'EaTaTiNg' SistA iN ICA eVEr, SeaH nUr FaEzaH... wishing u all e best in everything & anything u do & may u be in gud health always & plz.....GROW UP hor!!!!

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

Kelly Clarkson Already Gone
Remember all the things we wantedNow all our memories they're hauntedWe were always meant to say goodbyeEven with our fists held highIt never would've worked out rightWe were never meant for do or dieI didn't want us to burn outI didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop
I want you to know that it doesn't matterWhere we take this road someone's gotta goAnd I want you to know you couldn't have loved me betterBut I want you to move on so I'm already goneLooking at you makes it harderBut I know that you'll find anotherThat doesn't always make you want to cry
Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set inPerfect couldn't keep this love aliveYou know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go
I want you to know that it doesn't matterWhere we take this road someone's gotta goAnd I want you to know you couldn't have loved me betterBut I want you to move on so I'm already goneI'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrongI'm already gone, already goneThere's no moving on so I'm already gone
Already gone, already gone, already goneAlready gone, already gone, already gone, yeah
Remember all the things we wantedNow all our memories they're hauntedWe were always meant to say goodbye


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

nothing much has been happening in my life lately.. well, at least nothing interesting.. oh ya.. got! got! got!! i went for F1 Grand Prix on 270909.. it was great!! i mean, i'm not an avid fan of F1 actually but i noe who's Lewis Hamilton is & how cute he is... OMG!!

went wif my sista & her 2 monsters as she got 4 free tixs from a gentleman named Mr Aaron from Standard Chartered.. & after e race, we even watched Backstreet Boys!!! live in action after 10 yrs.. i mean, i grew up listening to their song.. i even remembered dat my 1st puppy love dedicate a song from BSB 'as long as u love me' in sec 2 in sch siak.. so sweet kan?

hahaha.. niwae, we really let our hair down,sis,me & all.. but it was sure fun & a great bonding time for me & me familia..

photos r updated on my facebook.. go check it out...

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...