juz so u noe, i'm crying tis very instance after i read ur entry..
ever wondered y i've always avoided ur conversation regarding e transfer thingy?
ever wondered how bad i feel?
ever wondered dat i'm pushed by circumstances & dat's y i did all dat?
ever wondered if i'm genuinely sorry?
ever wondered wats e REAL reason on why i cried after dat much-talked-about balloting, after talking to TL?
ever wondered if dere r other reasons y TL chose u? i seriously dunno but mayb u do.. i dunno.. i'm juz saying...
ever wondered if all these commotion is making me sick too? sick to e stomach..
sum things dat u shud noe:
-i'm sumone who tells everything & publicizing it,even my dirty laundry.. so its not my fault if u dun let others noe ur problem.. but like they say, to each his own..
-i'm up for a confrontation/talk if u wan to.. dun go around talking about it & letting others noe while u act as if things r ok btwn u & me.. clearly, its not now..
-dun mention dat cos i'm older, i shud be wiser.. I AM... dat's y i'm doing tis..
-e way u talked bout balloting, i noe wat balloting means.. i've done it, remember?
-i am not backing out, merely asking for my rights 2 b exempted like wat e other TSs r doing.. Wat TL did & how she's doing it, is her freaking problem, not mine.. obviously, she's trying to cover her arse too..
-i'm definitely not trying to make MY problem into UR problem.. dat's for sure...
-stop saying 'i dun have any problem with e gal who needs to go to SM' cos obviously u do..
-& dun try to say dat u r not blaming 'e gal' cos obviously u do.. (u r quite contradicting on wat u say on ur entry)..
1 thing for sure, e decision lies with TL.. & if she wans me to play e bitch becoz she did e mistake of not exempting me in e 1st place, den i shall play e bitch.. call me selfish if u wan..
& if u wanna keep throwing things at me, i understand.. i totally do if i'm in ur position..
About wat TL has chosen,plz dun think dat tis is not affecting me too.. i do think about it.. i do feel bad about it.. i do feel like i'm e bitch here.. & i do cry about it..
i've never meant for things to turn out tis way.. i really do.. how a simple thing dat is decided by sum1 else is tearing our frenship away.. even if i'm a bitch, i have feelings too & i care.. all i can say is i'm sorry if u think i'm to blame for wat happened.. i'm sorry if u think i'm not responsible enough.. im sorry if u think tis is too secondary sch-like.. but den again, sorry is juz another word dat i can say.. u really dunno how i feel deep inside.. & its totally up to u to accept tis apology.. definitely, u haf e right in tis..
... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...
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