i had juz occured a very embarassing moment here in my room while watching sex & eCT.. damn.. was watching Samantha doing her fireman in season 3,my mum decides to walk into my room wif baby in her arms.. so i chased her out cos i was smoking & i do not wan Dinol anywhere near my smoke.. but den... @ e very same moment,Samantha decided to scream as loud as she can get as she reached her orgasm.. FrEaK!! i wan frantically trying to press e 'pause' button.. but of cos, machines dun work wen u desperately nid them to.. mama din see any image on my screen but i think its obvious enough juz by e sound of it.. damn.. luckily,she moved off before saying, "Come Dinol.. we go outside.. bibik's smoking..!"
God, i hate Samantha!!


niwae, other than Sex & eCt.. i haf other life too,u noe.. for one, been spending time wif e fockers,which is a gud thing.. getting myself involved wif Omar's wedding,especially wif e hantaran cake.. yuhoo!! hope e cake will be a gud one & cost-friendly cos i'm planning to sponsor it.. hmmmm..
& i'm grateful to Allah for letting me noe tis family.. e whole family has been very nice & accepting of me.. & i'm praying it will be same for mine too.. Insya Allah.. So frenz,plz... plz pray for me ya.. Hopefully,they will accept the truth..
u noe e song 'Terrified'? from kara,e american idol judge..? dats wat i'm feeling now..

And I-I- I'm in Lurve...

And I- I- I'm terrified..

For e first time & e laz time

In my only Life...............

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

sex & e city... hmm.. interesting topics & interesting views.. i wish i cud b like them.. having galfrenz who r dere for u,can talk about anything & everything in e world.. though they haf their differences, they haf something similar.. : they haf each other & stand by each other,no matter how screwed up they can be..
oh well, life has its ups & downs.. & so does frenz who comes & goes.. i'm juz contented wif e true frenz dat i haf in my life rite now.. tankiu for being who u r to me.. distance & time spent together doesnt matter as long as u noe who u r..

1 very interesting topic in sex & e ct is about singles & attached (married or engaged or watever).. somehow they feel like they r being outcast juz bcos they r single.. does such a thing matter? apparently, yes.. in the western countries, they even haf singles tables in a wedding.. i'm sooo glad dat they do not haf it here in sg.. otherwise, they'll haf Sani's & my name permanently engraved dere.. hahahha!!
not only dat,for events & outings,they r often not asked by their attached frenz becos obviously,they do not wan them to be left out.. hmmm.. its bad enough dat the society is outcasting them but even their frenz r doing dat..

on another side, their crazy & heavily pregnant fren wanna get back into singlehood life,desperately.. seeing how happy & how fun the singles r, she felt a pinch & crashed their party wif her baby in tow to e party..
so wat is it in life do people wan? singlehood or attached? cant e singles mingle wif the attached?

Food for thought,people... food for thought..
=)



ps: Amin is getting married today.. =) Congrats,my bro!!


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

it has been ages since i laz blogged..
its not cos i do not haf e time but was too lazy to even log in.. 1 day become 1 week.. den 1 week became 1 mth.. hahhahah!! not dat dere's nothing exciting bout my life.. of cos,there r..
1st thing 1st,i had e most incredible & exciting trip ever to Bali for my bdae getaway.. wen wif e people i loved or so i tot.. but i enjoyed every minute of the trip.. right to e day wen i got super duper extremely swollen left eye cos of some dusty shop dere.. but i am overly contented wif my trip.. para-sailing, sight-seeing, shopping, river-rafting & most importantly,bungee-jumping!! did 2 jumps.. & its funny cos they even haf happy hour for bungy jump.. buy 1 get 1 jump free from 2-4pm.. hahah.. & i came at 345pm..
words cannot express how scared i was standing @ e platform dere & how ugly my face was,trying to hold myself together.. videos of my jumps r available on FB..
& i haf a fabulous,romantic,delicious dinner @ a villa @ Legian,complete wif a surprise mini bdae celebration.. ANYWAY,e cake was ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS!!! special thanks to all my cousins for making tis trip an enjoyable one!! luv u guys..

on another note,turning 26 was a denial for me.. i cant accept e fact dat i've not achieved wat i wan in life,like how i haf planned years ago.. i shud b married now wif a successful career,living happily wif my wonderful husband who loves me dearly,in my very own fully renovated home..
or at least,settle down a bit.. change my character abit.. in simpler words, i nid a change now dat my life dun go according to my plans..
after bali, i wanna change everything.. so laz week,i did wat i've always wanted to do but was always hesitant.. frenz can see how i've changed my outlook for now.. hopefully,my attitude will change too,slowly..

niwae, i do not wana blog much now.. but i've got 1 thing to say..

"mayb u r juz a part of me that have happened but will not happen...."

currently,i'm watching sex & the city series.. i've juz finished vol 1 & i can so relate to them bout sex,frenz & relationships.. think soon,i'll update my blogs based on e series dat i've watched.. i noe... i noe... its kinda late cos my frenz haf even finished e whole series but i'm juz starting.. but at least,its betta than never.. & juz by watching e vol 1,i've found e answer to e question dat i've always ask...

"E 1 u love or E 1 who loves u....?"

till next time....

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

As for today, Dino is no longer mine.. it has been sold to my colleague,Helmi.. auw.. i din really haf to sell it away but i guez e money can b use in a more fruitful way for my parents.. haiz...
my heart kinda ache cos it is my dream bike.. Super4 in a very bright yellow color.. but its ok.. at least i did haf it for 7 moths.. hopefully it will be happy wif e new owner.. Niwae, thanks to Helmi & wifey for buying it..

niwae, 2 days ago was e chalet thingy for Alpha @ ChangiCottage.. a lot of people din go but wat e heck.. i haf my company & it was great.. Me,Haslin & Shida put e F-U-N in fun dere,u noe.. participated in e games & it was hilarious.. special thanks to Kak Suhana for playing along in the Dog&Bone game.. though tiring & we lost,still it was great fun,panting,chasing & dragging people.. hahahha.. i got hit in e head by Shida but after seeing sum stars,i'm ok.. =)
den move on to musical chairs.. hahaha.. mcm budak2 kecik.. down to 2 contestants: Me & DO Han.. but after a 'tough' fight, i merged as the Champion!! yeah!!
Lucky draw was funny cos Haslin,Shida & me won e same thing.. hahah! So officially,i got myself a 3rd MP3.. =)
Last but not least,after e makciks was ruling e karaoke set, e 3 crazy gals took over & it was so so so sun.. we danced & laughed & sing a lot... sampai jadi kecoh sey.. at least we managed to pull in e uncles (abg rafik & aru & azali) to join in e fun.. it was such a priviledge to be able to sing wif abg gigi.. hahhaa.. wait till u guys see e vids,man.. happening giler..

niwae,Thanks to Haslin & Rashida for giving me e yellow-theme prezzies.,way too advance.. i lurve e gifts,gals... thankiu tankiu thankiu!! & it means 1 more day to my Bdae trip.. so exciting!!

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

had such a tiring yesterday.. here's e story.. came home on sat nite & went to JB Pasar Pandan wif a couple of frenz since i rented a car.. e purpose is to bring A who has never been dere before.. tour guide, me & Ir.. Since its e demise of e Sultan of Johor, most shops are closed.. niwae, i told A e reason y la.. Den suddenly, Ir came to me & said, "eh.. i noticed sumthing different la.. they r all wearing e same songkok.. cool ah?"

1 word: DUMB-DUMB..

niwae,din haf much sleep den off to e zoo wif my 4 monsters & sis.. really ah.. it was really tiring to walk e whole of zoo wif 4 kids who r,of cos,very demanding.. we wen to e kids area & of cos they had fun playing @ e wet playground.. as for me, i had to endure e hot sun.. haiz..

niwae, i din haf my camera wif me so i din take much photos.. its still on loan wif sani.. wonder wen he'll b back tis time.. really nid it back for my trip to bali tis sat.. i hope he'll b back on time,though.. i'll kill him if i dun get my camera by den.. hmmmph!!

PS: 4 more days to go..

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

sacrifice goes a long way...

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

how i wish i cud do sumthing to help.. but all i can do is to watch helplessly...
i'm sorry things turned out tis way.. i hope u stay strong & i wan u to know dat i'm always here for u,regardless...

i lurve u.. i lurve my 4 monsters.. i lurve mama.. & i lurve ayah.. i will support watever decision u make.. u can mark my words.. BUT plz.... make a decision for urself, ur well-being, for UR OWN happiness..

we'll go thru e obstacles together,i promise...

*hugs & kisses*

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

Open your eyes
And look outside find the reasons why
You've been rejected
And now you can't find what you've left behind
Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs?

She wants to go home but nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside with no place to go
No place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside

Her feelings she hides, her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind, she's fallen behind
And she can't find her place, she's losing her faith
She's fallen from grace, she's all over the place...

(-_-)

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

0255hrs

hey hey.. me still not asleep yet.. hahaha..
niwae, shall tell u guys about my oh-so-super-exciting Bali trip.. will be going on 30th Jan till 3rd Feb.. yuhoo.. itinerary's all done up.. cant wait for 2nd Feb.. me going for a bungy jump!! HELL YEAH!!!
ok. actually,i'm nervous.. very nervous.. everytime i think of it, my heart will beat very fast.. i admit.. i'm scared.. scared to death to be exact.. BUT!!! i will do it & i can do it.. even if i cant, i've already told my cuzzies to force me to jump off dat damn platform.. hahahhaha!! & i'm not gonna bother myself wif all e stories bout bungy jump gone wrong cos i dun care.. i will do it while i'm still young..
wait.. young?! i'm not dat young anymore lor.. ahakz!! dats e reason i wanna jump on my BDAE day itself.. dun worry,people.. already bought 2 insurance policies in case sumthing bad happen.. *CHOI*

=p

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

@0222hr 150110

seriously, i'm bored.. i wen online.. look @ sum frenz' pic in FB, read sum blogs den book a movie for tomolo morning.. den i dunno wat to do.. i can go to sleep, u noe.. but i dun wan to.. nothing gud is on tv.. i haf no more gud dvds to watch.. haiz...

niwae,am going to JB on monday wif Ifah.. wana go shopping den to Pasar Pandan.. think am gonna buy more drama series.. cos i got all e time in e world to watch them.. e 1st one i got for myself is Gossip Girls.. den Brothers & sisters.. very gud show,u noe... cos got Calista Flockhart.. den think am gonna get Gilmore Girls.. but i think they have more than 8 seasons ah.. bankrupt ah mcm ni.. Besides, i cant bring all in at once.. i dun wanna get caught at green channel later by my own colleagues.. hahaha!

haiya.. nothing much to say la.. so i guez i shud go to sleep now la ek.. gonna haf a looong day tomolo.. after work, me gonna watch Its Complicated wif 'Ehem'.. & its @ 0215hrs sumore.. hopefully, i wun fall asleep in e theatre.. haha!!
nitez my loves....



... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

let me tell u e 2 most dumbest things dat a mother/daughter team can do in 1 single day within a span of a few hours..

Daughter
Sleepy but still attended briefing after work.. so while trying to keep herself awake, daughter decides to sit forward,as in lean forward.. OH!! before dat,she popped a mint into her mouth.. den she lean forward wif her elbows on her knees.. den she yawns.. too lazy to close her wide-open mouth,she bend her head downwards.. & PLOP!!! e mint dropped onto e carpet floor..
Moral of e story
Dun believe anyone who says dat a mint can help u stay awake..

Mother
went on e bike as a pillion.. in a hurry cos tak sabar to meet her frenz.. den wen she's juz merely 1 metre away from e main road, she stop dad from moving any further.. & OH!! she forgot to wear helmet.. she's juz wearing her tudung..
Moral of e story
Dun be such a kan-cheong lor..


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

030110

i hope its still not to late to wish u guys a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
sorry about e lack of updates for e past 2 mths.. not dat i dun wan to but cos i cant.. my laptop was down & was too lazy to brig it for service.. hahah!! i managed to salvage my lappy only on New Year's eve.. so dun worry guys,dere will b more updates soon k?

niwae, a lot has happened for e past 2 mths.. i went to e lawyer about ayah's case den came e big wedding of e year (Lin & Dan), my dad's bdae, my negotiation to sell off Dino, planning for my Bali trip, work related issue (hot hot hot) & many more..

cant actually remember much now ah.. but dat is all history.. now we shud look forward & write about those things dat will be happening in 2010..

niwae,for e 1st time tis year, i did not go partying for e countdown (gud gal,kan? kan? kan?).. 1 reason is cos i duno where to go.. 2.I dunno who to ask since my crazy cherlyn is outta country & my group of frenz dun party anymore except for Sani,of cos. & 3. i haf to stay clean cos i'm visiting my ayah soon..
& for e 1st time too, i din even set any new year resolutions cos they r meant to be forgotten anyway..

so... all i wish for myself in 2010 is to be truely happy & live each day to e fullest.. enjoy life & haf fun instead of thinking too much.. live to love & love to life.. stop thinking bout wat others say bout me cos dey r crap! u cant please everyone in tis world & u dun haf to.. so.... i aim to be e care-free aliz.. yuHhooOoooOO!!

bring it on,2010!!
=)


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

things r getting out of hand now.. kakak & me doing all i can for e family..
things happened so much & it really saddened me especially since its Hari Raya Haji.. but wif e support of abg eman, i will be strong & fight!! *whack u in e face!!*

here's a bit of update since a lot of things happened at e same time..
= Ifah's beloved cat,Benny, past away 2 days ago.. She is devastated by tis.. At least i'm 1 of e first few to noe & i hope Benny is up dere leading a happy & joyful timee,running here & dere... always haf fond memories of dat huuuge cat..
= Linda's wedding date is nearing & i went to Geylang Serai to shop for an outfit for e sanding event.. but its eve of Raya Haji so practically all e shops dere tot i'm buying for tomolo..
= Saw Sultanah's bridal is having a sale.. Shall aim for dat cute looking pink outfit which i fell in luv immediately.. think will buy on sunday..
= Adha's being targeted by dat 'najis' @ work.. he's finding fault wif every lil thing dat adha's doing.. & to make matter worst, he had a fight wif some ah-bengs passengers.. hahahha.. mat rep!!
= hoping dat particular sum1 to be strong & hopefully,it will be over soon...
= will be going to Lin's place to haf e video shoot in an hour's time.. Nur & sani is not going to be dere.. i'm sad..
= & i wanna berak now..
niwae,

SeLamat HaRi RaYa HaJi..

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

its true,isnt it? e phrase, 'u will realize how much u lurve someone wen u lose her..'.
all tis while, e things said, e threats given,e attention asked, all dat din mean a thing? rite wen i tot things r going 2 b ok,u do all tis... for wat,may i ask? isnt it a lil too late?
all tis leads to more confusion..
wat am i supposed to do? God, lead me e way.. Insya Allah...

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

had dinner wif my whole family juz now after work.. apparently,they went to visit ayah & did a mini make-over on ayah's resting place.. cant go cos of hygiene purposes.. niwae,had a chat wif kakak & abg jo.. i'm really turning into an evil woman.. hahahhaha.. but i liiike..

niwae,its sunday & i really haf nothing to do except to wait.. wait.. wait for e return.. but at tis hour, still no news yet.. so i shall get mad & sleep it off.. hmmm... shall think bout tomolo instead.. me & ifah & haslin has a date after work tomolo!!! yeah!! so excited..

ok.. shall sleep now.. =)

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

its a saturday & its my off day.. but i'm at home,feeling damn boredom & heartache.. boredom cos i've got no plans & heartache cos i miss ayah.. days passed but i still miz ayah.. enough said about crying la... e tears flow freely everytime e image of him lying in e ground plays in my mind.. Al-Fatihah...

niwae, had a wonderful breakfast @ CoffeeBeans @ JP wif kakek tis morning.. i've been wanting to do tis in a very looong time but kakek being kakek,very slow reception la he.. niwae,we chatted for a brief 15 mins bout us.. i can feel dat he's being very sincere & angry @ me.. i noe.. but i hope he understands how i feel.. enough said.

after breakfast,kakek left to meet his frenz.. i went home to meet linda.. wanted to actually print photos @ e shop but we ended up getting a manicure & pedicure before going for her pre-wedding shoot.. i'm not involved in any way buut i still got myself e mani & pedi.. hahhaha! i'm soooooo excited.. she's getting married in less than 2 weeks' time.. 1st marriage in our gang of 4.. dunno who's next.. mayb its nur & appy.. yeah!!

i'm super bored now wif nothing to do.. i can always call ratna up but i juz dun feel like going out since it has been raining on & off.. think am gonna watch sum tv & get some sleep.. laz nite, i came back home late after watching paranormal activity.. movie is exciting but i think its better if u watched it @ home.. & i'm confused cos peeps keep saying dat dere's 2 endings.. ape ni....
niwae,off to facebook now.. HaPpY weEkeNd everyone!!

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

hey peeps.. long time no update hor.. niwae, work has been fun lately.. guez sum of u noe y.. but tis is juz e trying period.. we'll see how it goes.. *winks winks*

i'm stressed out bout ayah's stuff again.. very tired juz even by thinking about it.. had to run to more agencies since HDB is of no use.. so shall go to e lawyer's on tues rite after my nite shift.. niwae, was cleaning out my drawer full of rubbish,den i found sumthing.. a bdae card.. not juz any bdae card but a bdae card from ayah.. it reads:

Kepaba (i wrote tis kepaba when i was younger den i dun wan dat card anymore..) : Norlizah Binti Helmee

Ayah ucapkan Selamat Hari Jadi yg ka-11. Semoga dipanjangkan umur & murah rezeki.

though it was a simple & small card,it meant e world to me cos i suddenly remembered dat ayah wud never forget my bdae year after year.. i cried wen i read e card.. & i remembered him coming over my place @ Holland Drive juz to celebrate my bdae.. & u noe wat? now i noe y i'm so excited about bdaes regardless wat age it was for cos he always make me feel so special on 2nd Feb every year.. Aliz rindu ayah.... u dunno how many million times i've said, "how i wish u were here..."..

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

dunno y i haven been blogging much recently.. but i realized dat seah is worst off than me.. laz entry was about e chilli flakes.. den nowadays seldom write letters to me.. den i heard she's been wearing make-up.. WTH?? hahaha.. haven seen her wif e make-up yet.. but i'm sure she look pleasant.. juz simply pleasant. nothing else.. (its e truth,seah..ahahhah)

niwae, e other day, went for my TP & wifout telling my parents.. i keep telling them dat i'm going for my laz prac.. but thinking back,i've used dat excuse a couple of times liao.. hahahah.. & i dun think they realized dat.. niwae,i've passed my driving!! Alhamdullilah..& mama was e 1st one whom i called rite after i got my result.. I'll tell u guys more about my TP if o remember in my next entry k? Hopefully,i can rent a car soon to practice my skill on e road..

2nd Nov,me & haslin went to town to cut her bangs (oh,i cut mine too!!) & did a lil shopping.. den we headed to bugis to eat & lepakz @ Mt Faber.. mcm romantic gitu but its Haslin & me (boooring!!).. niwae, we stopped at Esso @ Telok Blangah for a peeing session.. dunno y but i took all my things except for e toilet key.. so me wanting to claim responsibility instead of juz riding off, i went in & told e lady @ e counter dat i've left e key inside e toilet.. & guess wat's e 1st thing dat she said to me..
Lady: haiyo.. den how i wanna go toilet? i haf to go to e guy's one huh?
den she proceed to complain to her male colleague & repeated e whole thing again & again..
Lady: laz time ah.. got customer bring back home e key.. but dat 1 nvr mind.. can always bring back here.. got spare.. but now u put inside den no spare.. how? u tell me how lor... No spare 1 hor..
Me losing my patience speaking in my perfect english & slang: rite now, i'm claiming responsibility for e key. so instead of u asking me how, why dun u tell me wat u wan me to do.. or perhaps u wud like to call ur manager & i can speak to him..
Male: manager ah? i think he sleep already.. laz time we haf a spare 1 but now we dun..
me obviously angry & lin din even say a word: y dun u check 1st whther u haf a spare key.. simple as dat..
male went into store.. lady still complaining bout how is she gonna to toilet..
Male shouting from inside: ok.. i handle tis.. i got e spare key.
IRRITATED,i walked out...
so u see how stupid people can get sumtimes.. they only worry about e problem instead of how to solve e problem.. i was so pissed dat i swore dat i wun go to dat esso anymore.. dumb lady!!
ok. dats my story.now i'm getting irritated juz by typing tis.

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

Juz my tot of e day..

how to turn back time or make it go slower....?
wat is to be done to make things right.....?
wen peeps say things happen for a reason,
wat is e reason...?
wen u say u've found E ONE,
wat do u mean by e one....?


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

nowadays i'm always tired.. recently, i sprained my back not bcos of i fell but bcos of my bike falling.. had a jab den 2 urut sessions so now a bit better la.. in fact,much better.. think i'm tired easily cos of e way i walked la.. deither dat or i'm too busy handling my late ayah's stuff.. tis is another headache to me..

i admit dat i'm more modern,more educated than e rest of my family (education-wise),more forward.. bcos of this, i think my ibu misinterpret this.. i juz wanna be a part of wat she's doing so i noe wats going on.. i called up all e necessary agencies to find out more about wat shud & has to be done.. yet,i'm misunderstood.. i'm sorry if i'm more forward than my elder sister... only mama understands y i'm doing tis..

i feel unappreciated & misunderstood.. i only wan ayah's things to be settled & do wats necessary.. my sista push me to be in charge.. but wat else can i say if ibu feels dat way? my only hope is dat ayah noes dat i'm doing tis for everbody but not for my own gud only.. & bcos of tis, i feel so tired.. shud i explain myself? i think i've already explained enough & its up to them on wat they wanna think..


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

i miz my ayah tremendously now..

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

a lot of things happened since e laz time i blogged..
shall start wif myself.. on 14th,i din realized dat my side stand was not open fully so bike fell la.. den e clever me din let go of the handle & i slowly squat down,following e motion of my falling bike.. dunno wat happened but the next day,my back hurts like hell.. fast forward a few days later,it got worst.. so on 18th went to A&E to get a jab.. u noe wat? i din even wait for 5 mins den my queue no was up.. u muz go on a sunday before 9pm.. practically like no one's dere.. so... yesterday din go work cos it was hell wen i took a shower so i noe i cant last e whole day at work.. but i am much much betta today cos yesterday a makcik urut me for more than 2hrs for $50.. cheap & she was really gud.. so i guez she will b my permanent makcik urut.. hehehe

niwae,on 18th is my ayah's 40th day kenduri.. did it at my sis place.. did i cry? yes,i did.. i remembered e day wen he was coughing out blood.. how much he was suffering.. e pain reflects on his face.. i nid to really stop crying.. Al-Fateha to ayah..
after e kenduri, i went to A&E as mentioned above. i juz stepped into my hse for 5 mins den mama received a phonecall saying dat Farhan,my step-cousin,had passed away at SGH.. so off we went to SGH & saw a lot of kakek's frenz dere.. we were all dere for the same person.. at such a young age of 26,he left tis world in an accident where he was an innocent party.. hopefully,justice will be served.. niwae,i was quite amazed at his mum's reaction.. cik esah was very calm & i din even see her cry.. all she did was to kiss her son & stroke his hair repeatedly..
Al-Fateha for Arwah Farhan.. & i hope Cik Esah & family will be strong.. Insya Allah..

& after soo long of not meeting him, i saw him at e hospital.. my dearest abg amir (step-bro).. i cried & hugged & bit him cos i miz him sooooooooo much.. & i was worried cos they said dat he went onboard for work.. i dun think so.. short hair & beefed up body, i think i noe where he went to.. but he said he dun wan bapak to worry & dats e reason y he lied about his whereabouts.. but its ok.. as long as he's alive & doing fine, i dun mind about e past.. he's my bro & i luv him.. i juz dun wan him to go back to his old days..
ok.. i'm tired of typing.. i'm going back to sleep cos e medication for my back is really powerful.. i can fall asleep within 30 mins & can sleep for 4 to 5 hrs straight.. gud ah e pills... hehehe

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

i'm bored & i dunno wat to do...

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

nowadays i dunno wat to think or wat to say or wat to do.. i'm lost,i think.. lost in my own world.. wen i'm happy,den i'm happy lor.. wen i'm down, den like dat lor.. i dun even noe wat interesting to blog about... teruk sia..

niwae, wanted to blog about tis e other day but i kinda forgot... see... i'm getting forgetful nowadays too.. haiz... well aniwae, on 4th Oct, i went to kubur to see ayah on his 30th day dere.. of cos i cried & all,i admit... den i went to my nenek's & my yai's place too cos it was nearby to ayah's.. oh!! i went alone,u noe.. for e 1st time ever in my life, i went to e cemetery alone.. here comes e funny story..

so tis is my attempt at drawing to u e map of e cemetery btwn those 3 people.. dunno if u can see.. but i shall explain anyway.. my bike is dat little yellow box on e far left.. i cant remember yai's plot no so i anyhow guess la.. after parking dere,i went e opposite way & walked towards Z which is 200m away from my bike.. den realizing dat i made a mistake, i u-turned & i walked back to A.. den finally i found Yai's after 15mins.. den i tried finding nenek's & walked around another 15 mins cos i forgot her plot no too.. den...(here comes e funny part)... I FORGOR WHERE I PARKED MY BIKE.. so i went back to Yai's at C den walked around D den walked around the whole of block 20,walking passed E & F & den finally found my bike.. in an attempt not to look stupid cos it was a sunday & dere's lots of people, i walked s.l.o.w.l.y as if i'm strolling in a park.. xtion jer.. padahal malu sey....
den i start my bike & passed C & D again & passed ayah's den i finally managed to get out from e cemetery.. so it was like a field trip @ e cemetery for me.. so dere... my excursion on sunday041009.. =)

NiwaE, WaNnA sAy HapPy HaPpY BIrD-DaY tO mY mOsT 'EaTaTiNg' SistA iN ICA eVEr, SeaH nUr FaEzaH... wishing u all e best in everything & anything u do & may u be in gud health always & plz.....GROW UP hor!!!!

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

Kelly Clarkson Already Gone
Remember all the things we wantedNow all our memories they're hauntedWe were always meant to say goodbyeEven with our fists held highIt never would've worked out rightWe were never meant for do or dieI didn't want us to burn outI didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop
I want you to know that it doesn't matterWhere we take this road someone's gotta goAnd I want you to know you couldn't have loved me betterBut I want you to move on so I'm already goneLooking at you makes it harderBut I know that you'll find anotherThat doesn't always make you want to cry
Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set inPerfect couldn't keep this love aliveYou know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go
I want you to know that it doesn't matterWhere we take this road someone's gotta goAnd I want you to know you couldn't have loved me betterBut I want you to move on so I'm already goneI'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrongI'm already gone, already goneThere's no moving on so I'm already gone
Already gone, already gone, already goneAlready gone, already gone, already gone, yeah
Remember all the things we wantedNow all our memories they're hauntedWe were always meant to say goodbye


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

nothing much has been happening in my life lately.. well, at least nothing interesting.. oh ya.. got! got! got!! i went for F1 Grand Prix on 270909.. it was great!! i mean, i'm not an avid fan of F1 actually but i noe who's Lewis Hamilton is & how cute he is... OMG!!

went wif my sista & her 2 monsters as she got 4 free tixs from a gentleman named Mr Aaron from Standard Chartered.. & after e race, we even watched Backstreet Boys!!! live in action after 10 yrs.. i mean, i grew up listening to their song.. i even remembered dat my 1st puppy love dedicate a song from BSB 'as long as u love me' in sec 2 in sch siak.. so sweet kan?

hahaha.. niwae, we really let our hair down,sis,me & all.. but it was sure fun & a great bonding time for me & me familia..

photos r updated on my facebook.. go check it out...

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

forgot to mentioned tis la.. u guys shud really watched 'The Ugly Truth'.. its damn funny lor.. its really about e ugly truth about bgr & how much we deny sum facts about it, its shown in e movie.. dat day while buka-ing wif my batchmates, we decided to catch a movie & i'm so glad dat we watched tis instead of 'gamer' or sumthing.. i give it a 5 outta 5.. its superb!!

juz now after work, me & adha went to top up petrol at JB den head down to Yishun Dam cos sum of e guys were dere.. & while we were talking, i realized dat i'm so misunderstood at work.. sum peep did asked me if i'm interested to go to a 'tough' area where checking of vehicles is involved.. apparently, dey tot i'm too ladylike & weak to do such tedious job... & wen i mentioned dat i wanna do interrogating, sum1 mentioned dat i'm too lady-like again!! Oh God!! i am soooooo misunderstood..
yes.. i admit dat at work, i'm very happy & bubbly & smiley.. but dey dunno e real me.. i can be nasty if i wan to lor.. its juz dat wen u r sitting down in e counter for hours, stamping ur chops away, y be grumpy,rite? juz be positive about ur work & be merry lor.. & by doing tis, dey tot dat i can't handle or carry out e 'tough' bit of e job.. WTF!!!? was quite shocked about tis la.. i din noe dat i am a lady-like person myself.. kept asking myself: is tis y i din get transferred to other areas? wen i'm given a job, i do it well.. but bcos of tis, it hinders my chances of doing other things? haiz............
Guez i muz act tougher @ work? dunno la...

niwae, tomolo, Sat, me going to jalan raya wif my sista's family to my ayah's side.. sumthing dat we din noe for about 4 yrs now.. but since kakak mentioned it, so y not? & its my off day & its so obvious dat kakek's not going out wif me..AGAIN!! & on sunday, i'm going for e F1 grandprix!! yeah.. kakak got an extra ticket & she's bringing me!! yeah!!! i so wanna see lewis hamilton in person even though i dunno much about F1.. hahahah! if i can la... so..... wish me luck!!

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

2nd day raya was a very tiring day for me.. after waking up 10am & jalaning e whole day, i still haf report back to work for nite shift.. but its ok.. its a yearly event so cant complain much..

niwae, i dunno if i blog about tis before.. but e other day, i drove illegaly in jb.. hahahha!! testing my driving skill jer.. its fun but definitely my passengers were scared.. but i dun care.. it was definitely fun.. i wanna do it again..
& speaking about driving, i did not attend any prac for e past 2 weeks due to my dad's stuuf & raya.. in e end, juz now wen i went, my techniques all corrupted la.. & i got e sleeping instructor again.. but since he dunno me & seeing how bad my skill was, he managed to stay awake.. hahhaa.. now i'm so scared.. my TP is soon & yet my skills went from ok to bad now.. really need to buck up & practice more (probably in jb).. hahahah..

niwae, dats all for today.. i'm going out to teman lin to send her mum to work.. & i did not meet kakek on my off day today.. wats new,rite?

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

Juz came back celebrating e 1st day of Syawal wif my family.. its tiring but i cant get to sleep.. nothing new to say but ya, i'm thinking of ayah.. laz nite while e takbir was playing on e radio, i was trying so hard to distract myself by sewing e buttons on my kebaya.. but i cudnt help & tears kept falling & falling of my face while sewing.. guez mama & bapak saw me cried but they din say anything.. i think they understand.. after dat i went out to meet a fren of mine on e excuse that i wana play bunge api, i had a chance to express how i felt bout ayah, about how i think i caused him hurt & finally cried my heart out.. did nothing but juz cried & cried.. i muz admit i felt really better after all dat crying...




today while trying to take a pic wif my aunt, a cousin of mine said sumthing dat really was rude & hurtful.. but i guez she din realized it cos she's young & i scolded her for it anyway.. but tears formed in my eyes.. wat she said was true but i din imagine dat it caused hurt wen she said, "kecian si anak yatim ni nak ambek gambar dgn mak aku.." i never tot dat word can hurt me.. but i'm not gonna spoilt my Hari Raya.. Its a day of celebration so i brushed it aside..



niwae, on tis special day, i wud like to say Selamat Hari Raya to all my muslim frenz.. i wud also like to ask for forgiveness as we begin a new chapter in our life today.. Hope u guys will haf fun & joy in celebrating Syawal for e next 30 days..

SeLaMaT HaRi RaYa AiDiLfItRi

MaAf ZaHiR & BaTin

(tired face after whole day of working & jalan raya)

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

...

everytime i wana blog about sumthing, my heart juz sank.. e heartache on e day ayah went away came back.. i dunno y but it hurts e same as day 1.. but wen i'm around frenz, i'm a normal,laughing, joking & smiley aliz.. at work is where u can meet e 'noproblem' aliz.. but i am strong.. dat is wat i tell myself everytime tears start forming in my eyes..
i keep myself busy by watching lots tv, talking on e phone, surfing e net, going out wif frenz.. cos i noe ayah will feel e pain if i cry.. so ayah, forgive me if i caused u hurt..

on a ligter note, i did wat i wanted a looong time ago.. i din do it bcos of mama back den.. but thinking of how i put ayah in pain while being in e hospital, being poked countless times by those big needles on his arms & leg, i did it anyway.. i confessed to mama after 2 days of hiding it from her.. she was mad.. i can see it from her facial expression but she was quite cool about it.. after a few mins of babbling, she talked to me like normal.. i noe i've hurt her feelings by doing it but i hope she understands.. she doesnt noe y i did it.. i told her i will take it out 1 day but not now.. so now, everytime i accidently hit it, it reminded me of ayah's pain.. i'm sorry ayah if i caused u a lot of pain before u passed on..

dunno y i logged in in e 1s place.. think i wanted to blog about sumthing else but i kinda forgot.. nvr mind.. if i remember, i will it on e next post.. niwae, Hari Raya is coming soon.. i never buy any new baju kurung so i'm using laz yr's.. luckily,mama nvr scold me for not buying.. in fact,i think she understands.. i sooo do not wan to hear e Takbir raya.. but i'm working morning on e eve so i will be at home.. i hope i wun cry den.. but to all, Selamat Hari Raya.. it is afterall, a celebration for all after having fast for a mth.. a celebration for all to be merry wif families & frenz.. for me, i wun get to ask for forgiveness from ayah which i've planned to reconcile wif him tis yr.. but wat to do? all i can say is dat i'm filled wif regret..

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

outz wif my frenz..

thanks to facebook,we found each other again.. after 13yrs of MIA, we finally mit up at Marina Square for a buka session.. e students of Keng Seng Primary Sch yr 1996.. though only 7 of us came, it was definitely nice to see childhood frenz again.. Heiqal, azli, azri, yan, khaimil, azlina & me were dere..

niwae, tot it will be awkward & i did haf reservations about going.. but in e end, it was a nite filled wif laughters & reminising about about e gud old daes in our brown & beige uniform.. hahhahaha..

KSPS Yr 96

looking forward to more meet-ups soon.. hopefully,wif more people around.. =)

my 2nd morning was spent wif my irritating yet beloved sista, Seah anak Fuad.. we did wat we wanted at Penisula.. den we went shopping & buka at PizzaHut Marina Square..(yes,i noe.. i went to Marina square 2 days straight.. but i go wof diff peeps wat..) finally, sumone shared e same excitement wen i suggested PizzaHut.. i can never convinced kakek to eat PizzaHut cos he thinks Sarpino's is e best.. bluegh!! after buka, we shopped again at John Little.. & i din managed to convinced seah to buy a bra set for herself ah.. think i'm gonna get her e cute cute PC or Warner Bros bra set for her bdae ah.. hahahah.. & force her to wear it in front of me.. sorry seah, no dogs from me to u tis yr.. =)

e food dat we had at PizzaHut

Seah tak sabar... as usual...

me & my crayfish pasta.. (eeeuw.. eyebags..)

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...