ayah.............

aliz tau ayah marah dgn aliz pasal aliz pakse ayah pegi hospital.. tapi niat aliz baik.. bukan maksud aliz nak seksa ayah, bukan aliz dengki & khianat dgn ayah tapi pasal aliz sayang ayah.. aliz harap jauh di sudut hati ayah, ayah faham knape aliz buat ni semua untuk ayah.. aliz harapkan yg terbaik untuk ayah.. aliz cume buat ape yg termampu, aliz usahakan untuk ayah dapat rawatan.. tapi yg lain,masih jugak terletak pada ayah samaada ayah nak pulih atau tidak..
aliz harap ayah maafkan aliz.. klau ayah nak marah aliz, aliz terima.. tapi ayah harus kuatkan diri untuk baik & terima rawatan yg diberi.. bukan menolak pertolongan.. kasih sayang aliz pada ayah, hanya Allah jer yg tau.. sama mcm ayah ckap dgn aliz, sayang ayah terhadap aliz,hanya Tuhan jer yg tau..

aliz mohon supaya lembut hati ayah menerima bantuan doktor.. aliz harapkan ayah boleh maafkan aliz.. aliz mintak ayah nampak betapa ramai yg dtg semua sayang dgn ayah,bukan dengki dgn ayah.. aliz doakan hanya yg terbaik untuk ayah.. Insya Allah dgn izin Tuhan, ayah akan kembali sihat.. Insya Allah..

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

82) My dads

Woke up early & sleeping super late.. Dats wat i've been doing these past few days.. to make matter worst, both my dads r admitted to e hospital.. on e same day..

after 2 yrs of not meeting ayah, got a call from kakak saying dat ayah is vomitting out blood.. i admit i was still contemplating on whether i shud go or not.. it took me awhile after talking to a few frenz dat i found e courage to see him.. wen i arrived wif Lin & Kakek, ayah was in a terrible state & he's still din wanna go to e hospital.. With e help of abg eman,kak siti,lin,dan,kakek,ayah rasul & a few banglas, we managed to carry ayah out & into e hospital..

e doctor told me a few undesired things but i hoping for e best... Insya Allah ayah akan selamat dgn berkat doa semua.. He went through scope & scanning & we r awaiting for e result..

Bapak pulak kena tahan after doing his brain scan after results came out yesterday.. apparently they found a blood leakage in e brain.. So far e docs said its only a little bit so hopefully they can do sumthing about it.. But it has nothing to do wif e surgery dat he had laz mth.. tis is a new thing..

i am at lost.. seriously.. i've never felt so much pain in my heart.. my 2 beloved dads r sick & lying in e hospital & dere's nothing dat i can do to help.. i am lucky dat i haf e opportunity of having 2 fathers who loved me unconditionally.. Frenz, pray for my dads to get better ok.. Insya Allah, everything will go well.. Insya allah...

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

81) Movies!!

I forgot to mentioned dat a week ago, i met up wif Nizah, my biatch from SLS after 6 looong mths to catch up on old time & to lepakz... In e end, we had our fav starbucks & since its not morning, we cant haf our fav Coffee Beans breakfast.. back in e days,after our night shift, we wud always go down to Wisma's Coffee Beans to haf our breakfast & chat all e way till noon.. den we'll go home & sleep & meet again at 10pm for work.. how much i missed those days spent wif nizah...

on tis day, we went ahead & watched The Hangover.. OMG!! e movie was great!! was actually thinking of watching it wif kakek.. but since he dun wanna meet me, den i went ahead & watched it wif Nizah.. Think he's still sored about it cos a few days ago, he did passed a sarcastic remarks bout me watching The Hangover wifout him.. but being e gud gf, i bought him e dvd lor,juz so he can watch it at home by himself... LOL...

niwae, e movie was wicked!! watch it guys.. its hilarious.. & The Proposal.... watched it wif kakek on saturday & it was super funny.. come on, its sandra bullock,man... my fav actress ever.. she is super stunning in tis movie & story line = perfect... & guess wat? nizah asked me to watch tis movie wif her tis coming tuesday.. i dunno wat to say to her,man.. hahhaha... well, i juz its a tit for a tat btwn nizah & kakek... i'm stuck them both,being their movie partner... LOL...

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

80) driving lessons

had driving yesterday & today.. funny thing was, i got e same instructor for both lessons.. if u guys dunno, den i shall not say where my driving centre is & who's e instructor.. lets juz share my story for ur own knowledge..

niwae, in my group,dere's 6 instructors.. outta which i have only seen 5.. niwae, 1 likes to dig his nose, 1 like to blow his nose, 1 likes to talk cock & sumtimes sleep,1 likes to sleep a lot & 1 is a mute.. damn.. juz wat did i do to deserve tis? arg..

for e pst 2 lesson, my instr fell asleep wifout telling me wat to do next.. so i juz anyhow makes turns lor.. den i brake abruptly & i speed up suddenly & i also beat red lights.. how's dat?!?!? & today, i deliberately make a wrong turn & we ended up in cck.. hahahah...

i dun wanna complain cos i noe wat complains can do & i haf to face my group of ah-peks for a few mths more... so just wat do i haf to do? tried to engage small talks wif them but still they fall asleep.. i think if tis goes on, i need to say sumthing.. i dun pay $60 for every lesson for e instr to fall asleep on me.. haiz..

niwae, on a lighter note, adik has posted up e pics for e karaoke nite.. very funny siak.. i wanna post up a pic here but due to confidentiality, i cant post evryone's pic.. so here's e crazy gal gang & 1 idiot...

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

79) recent updates

finally got to meet kakek after 2 weeks.. dunno y it took dat long to meet him but ya, 2 weeks to meet my bf.. WTH?!? but he's busy wif work & sch & soccer & all so hardly haf time for me.. i'm taking it slow,trying to adapt to e time limit dat we haf.. sumhowe, i reckon dat i'm not having a hell of gud time.. but wat to do? haf to encourage him lor.. & i'm not exactly supportive.. hahhaha

niwae, juz had a few hours of sleep cos laz nite was great!!!!!!! other than a few glitches, everything else was fun.. had e priviledge of my colleagues' company for a karaoke session-adek's farewell... she's leaving for ports soon hence e outing... quite a number of us squeezed inside dat 1 small room but it was chaotic especially wen haslin's talent.. hahhaha.. in malay term: halsin suke merosakkan lagu... hahaha.. but it was difinitely one of my most enjoyable nite in 2009.. karaoke & supper & i reached home at 5plus... OMG!! but lucky for me, no calls from mama.. hahhaha...

after having dat super late nite, its my off day today.. din get to sleep much cos had to rush to work to hand deliver my mum's passport.. dunno wat's wrong wif her but she brought my dad's instead.. arg.. super irritated wif her & though i lurve her, i soooo hated her dat moment.. but all's done & now i'm bored at home wif nothing to do.. i've juz realized dat i din take any driving lesson today cos its a monday.. a perfect day for me & kakek to go out cos he has no sch.. but laz min, he got a make up class so dat explains y i'm at home on my off day..

ARGH!!! ok.. i'm gonna try & catch sum slep now.. gotta wake up at 4am tomolo for my morning shift...
btw, i sang a dangdut song yesterday in front of everyone.. hahhahaha...
*** senggol senggolan.. cubit cubitan... aku menari... ko petik gitar........... ***

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

pics of National Day weddings...

i told u dat i've got a lot of weddings...

78) more weddings.......

my weekends r filled up with numerous weddings to attend ever since july.. week after week, its weddings, weddings & more weddings.. not dat i'm complaining but love is in e air & i'm jealous.. yes.. i admit.. i'm jealous... Bride & groom all pretty pretty.. take photos.. extremely beautiful dais.. auw................. i noe mine is not any time soon.. dats for sure..

niwae, tis weekend is supposed to be everything & anything about Singapore's 44th bdae.. but i haf 2 weddings to attend to.. 1 is a friend of mine & another one is my colleague.. more like my cayang @ work.. hahaha.. not dat i haf anything wif him but wen i came in on my 1st day in Alpha, he's e one who caught my attention.. he's not e Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp looks but normal ah.. but he's so polite & soft-spoken & very well-mannered ah.. e gal who's marrying him is a lucky gal.. but dun worry.. i do not haf anything going on wif him.. i juz tot if i can bring a guy like him home, my mum dun haf to worry about anything, i guess.. hahhahah

niwae, i'm tired & am going to bed soon.. juz finished my afternoon shift.. another afternoon to battle den its my OFF DAY!!! yuhoo.. but ya.. i haf to go to 2 weddings & den i hope sum1 will ask me out to do the national day celebration, i hope.. since kakek will be busy wif his uncle's wedding, plz God, make sumone ask me out...

LOLs... =p

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

77) pics from loong looong ago

nah... not e one u r expecting but juz sum random photos from my hp...


sum idiot who vomiited in a bag & left in on my driveway.. yes.... a car did run over it & spilled out e contents...

was bored waiting for my dad to be out from e Ops theatre so i played around wif watver's around me...

e view down below my dad's ward..

i dunno which parent haf e heart to name their son tis.. its a real name, guys.. & tis guy is a wrinkled up old man liao.. so i din laughed at him lor...

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

76) how do u feel...

u come to work & found several love letters in ur pigeon hole..
suddenly 1 of it says tis:

Dear Ugly,

Aku rindu ko, BODOH!!

xoxo: beautiful....

how wud u feel? tis note played wif my emotions..

now dat stupid b&*#% wanna challenge wif me over muhaimin...
bring it on, SUCKER!!

(tis post is dedicated only to seah nur faezah, anak kepada fuad seah)

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

75) UP, UP & away.........

sorry lin.. went & watched.. so.... i'm not even sorry dat i din invite u.. LOL!!

niwae, UP was nice.. wait.. excellent... its not all about colours & laughter.. in fact, i think e movie played wif my feelings till tears nearly fell off my cheeks.. its super emotional la... i lurve e character 'Russell'.. he's super cute.. but i like e old man more bcos of his love for his 'Ellie'.. go watch it & u'll noe y...

i had such a busy weekend dat i'm so super tired sey.. movie wif kakek, den go for Jun & Man's solemnization & rewang at my aunt's place... den sunday, its my late grandparents' kenduri arwah after work.. so its super super tiring..
& u noe wat? at 12midnight,my neighbour's kid was stomping or stamping or watever it is call, right above my bed.. OMG!!! e noise!!! i feel like going up & smacked whoever is looking after him.. come on lor... its a sunday midnight.. people need to sleep for work lor.. it happens every other night.. at first i tot its sum supernatural thingy but stamping of feet? i dun think its e being from e other world.. so angry but mama said it will only make matter worst if i go up.. so i finally went to sleep only wen i'm really really sleepy.. & i woke up at 4am for OT.. darn!!

niwae, i will post up pics from my HP soon.. 1 of it is a helpless & poverty-sicken child who was caught eating in e corner of my counter DC1 to be specific.. once i upload, u guess who la...


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

74) mum's sick & we'r ok =)

my mum scared me on saturday cos we had to rush her to e hospital cos of high fever.. well, iniatially,my dad had fever during e weekday for about 2 days.. he got better.. den my mum had fever & she went to e doc & got 7 days MC.. (i dun understand y she took e MC wen she's a perm housewife.) niwae, 2 days later, her fever shot to 40C...

i've juz reached my fren,Diana's wedding barely 3 mins den my mum called me to go home & sent her to e hospital.. terperanjat beruk sey.. before i left, i asked her if she was feeling ok.. but she juz murmured "ok ok,", so i went out la.. tot i can meet my fellow HSSonians at Diana's place.. but i mananged to meet her though.. cos i went to e guy's side which is at Toh Guan (near my place) first & thinking of following the bride & groom back to Diana's place..

but of cos, i din make it to Serangoon cos i went back home after eating at e place & sent my mum to NUH (with Lin's help).. sat dere for a whole 5hrs,drip & blood test before we can finally see her,walking happily towards us.. Alhamdullilah, its not H1N1 but juz e common fever bug.. but today, she's back to e helpless state cos her fever is playing e hide & seek game.. sumtimes, it goes way up high but sumtimes it go down abit.. so hopefully, she's gonna get better soon cos i can't stand her.. very super sensitive & irritating.. LOL!! dun tell her dat k? & she keep calling me to get home fast.. (think she's using her excuse of being sick to make me sit at home ah...)

niwae,me juz book an anniversary gift for kakek.. no, its not a hotel room... but an exclusive sneak preview of UP.. we r going for a carnival wif balloon sculpting, face-painting & also photo-taking... den off to e sneak preview in 3D.. yuhooo... its gonna happen tis Sat,1st Aug!! can't wait!!but i think he's gonna be a bit sceptical cos its gonna start at 1130am (cos e 3pm show already fully booked).. hahahha.. dun care!! book already mah!! so he must be on time..

YEAH!!! we r going to be e 1st ones to catch tis movie!! YuhOoOO!!

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

73) shocking news

if u guys read e papers today, u'll be surprised at e sentences passed on to e 3 guys who literally tortured their cell mate.. 16-19yrs of imprisonment & 16-22 stroke of e cane.. OMG!! all e 3 young men will be in their late 30s by e time they come.. throughout e trial, no faces were shown & i kept guessing who these people r.. & today, spread across all newspapers of all languages available in Singapore are 3 young malay muslim men..

i am quite sad & disappointed at their behaviour.. sodomising, torturing, beating, punching & forcing M to eat faeces r definitely acts that are condoned by Allah.. i'm not saying i'm a pious & religious person.. no, i'm not.. but how crazy or disturbing can u get by carrying out these acts? i'm sure these guys r bright & intelligent young men, considering their proper use of english during trials.. & they even represent themselves instead of engaging a lawyer.. even the Justice felt disappointed & he also believed dat they r an intelligent lot.. he even advised them to look forward wen they r released later because he believed they can succeed in life.. tis is juz an foolish act dat they have to pay dearly..

well, wats been done cannot be undone.. wat we can do is to learn from tis.. i hope those young men out dere can learn from this episode as to control their anger & always think before you do anything.. *same goes for me too,actually* =p

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

72) unexpected twist of event happened

e day din go well as i planned... bought myself a pair of puma shoes as retail therapy... & a sleeping bag for work as my blankets haf been used by numerous people till i can't recognized its color anymore...

dat unexpected thing happened & i'm back home at 6pm.. wow!! super early considering dat i'm out of e house only at 140pm..

on e way home, i realized dat i can b quite a 'hulk' wen i'm angry.. my hairs on my arms can go all straight up & my body became extremely hot.. i guess its a matter of time before i transformed into hulk.. except dat i wanna be a yellow hulk instead..

history repeated itselfs, juz like e song 'walk away'... i guess no one haf e courage to lash out at me for my undesirable anger.. i dunno y but i did try.. i've tried & tested my patience to e limit. i guess today was e laz straw & dat explains y i rode home like a mad bull... i noe dat dere r areas where i shud improved on but i need time.. like how i've given u time,dats wat i need.. i dun wanna say 'mayb its not meant to be' wifout trying... so here i am,reflrecting on wat went wrong & wat is needed to be done.. but i really do not need my patience to be tested as it has been tested enough.. thankyouverymuch.


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

71) where to go for a date?

its 1215am & i have asked kakek to bring me out for a real date tomolo since its my off day.. all tis while, we haf only been running errands & dats it.. nowadays, my off day falls on his sch days so its kinda hard to spend time together,especially since he's a frequent 'late-comer'..

but where to go? we practically run out of place to go liao.. weather's too hot for outdoor activities.. i dun wanna go window-shopping cos i'll end up shopping.. i dun wanna sit at home all day watching tv (we can do dat wen we'r 65).. so wat else? sungei buloh? done.. fish spa? done.. ear candling? done. pulau ubin? done. prawn fishing? done. marina barrage? done. movies? done. makaning? everytime. wild wild wet? done. sentosa? done. bowling? done. JB? done. batam? done. motorshop visits? done.

OMG!! tomolo must go bike shop AGAIN!! kakek wanna fix his pipe liao.. wonder how long will we need to stay dere... arg!! i need to send dino for inspection too.. HAIYO!!! so many things, so little time.. again, its a full day of running errands again,i'm sure...

niwae,i'm off to bed now.. slept only 2 1/2hrs & i woke up at 330am & cant sleep since.. went OT at 8am & worked till 10pm.. can't get OT for train so i'm home early.. now i need to catch sum beauty sleep cos i need to look after my neighbour's son tomolo & send him to sch at noon.. dun ask y but my mum offered to help.. in e end, she had sumthing to do & i haf to cover for her.. grrrrr.. it means lesser time wif kakek tomolo.. =(


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

70) e next formula 1 driver (only listen 2 e gud stuff).. hahahha

came back from work tis morning & went to e doc wif lin.. sore-eyes & got 4 days MC.. bedek siak.. think e doc is juz guilty cos his clinic opens at 8am but he reached only at 930am.. boring jer nak kena tunggu lame2...

niwae,went for my 1st ever driving lesson.. wanted to cancel it cos i'm super sleepy but den juz went ahead cos i have paid for it & boy, am i happy or wat... i got e gerekz instuctor & he's very very funny & out-going.. always like to disturb people & always asking me to sound e horn if sumone in front is slow..

mayb i'm 1st time lucky.. bsok bsok dpt yg fierce nyer,mampus aku.. wat to do wen all e instructor in my group r all e liao ah-peks? but i'm going for e next one next week so hopefully, i can do it.. juz now was not dat gud cos i was practically sweating cos i was told by lin dat i dun need to drive on my 1st lesson but i did lor.. e moment he noe i haf a bike license, he say he's lazy to drive & he trust me.. menggigil siol tangan pegang steering wheel tu.. maklum la, slalu jadi passenger jer.. hahahha.. but i'm looking forward to learn more, fast!! hopefully, i can drive my parents around soon.. =)

Insya-Allah..

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

69) updates

its funny cos i haf lots of things to update everyday but e tot of sitting in front of my lappy for hours juz turns me off.. but i'm to do it now...

niwae, over e past week, had supper wif ada, huda & seah.. its been a long time since we ate together & so we went to alif at BB (a new venue since we always go to Bukit Timah).. turns out dat its a RONG RONG decision so food not dat nice, seats not comfy & e environment juz seemed uninteresting.. OH YA!! e service, not gud.. think e waiters dere r weird.. so...... during supper, seah decided to catch e movie Haunting in Connecticut on e saturday.. but being e 'eatating' other half of mine, she cancelled it on e very laz min on friday BECOS : "she-forgot-she-needs-to-go-to-Ikea-wif-mummy..."but all's good.. cos linda invited me along for e same movie on later dat day..


hmmmmmm.... OH!! & on my off day, me & kakek ate at Hans River @ EastPoint & we did e ear candling thingy.. we were juz talking about it e other day & saw a promotion on it while walking around.. so we decided to give it a try.. we were so excited about it dat we signed up for a package.. hahahha..


Niwae, attended 2 wedding yesterday.. had to rush cos both frens r guys' side & i'm so confused on which one to go to first.. in e end, went to Abg Zamir's place & we caught him before he moves off to e bride's side & den to Danial's.. looks like i haf more wedding to go to... i wonder wen will be my turn.. *hint hint to dada* hahhaha.. but i guess it will not be anytime soon cos i need to do sum stuff in my life first..


niwae, pics of both wedding...

Abg Zamir (HSS)

Danial & Jaja (ICA)Selamat Pengantin Baru..

Semoga Berbahagia Slalu Hingga Ke Anak Cucu..

Insya-Allah

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

68) daddy dearest

from my laz entry, i managed to get urgent leave from my SAC.. & i did use it to my advantage.. got daddy admitted into hospital den i went off for kakek's frenz chalet den back to hospital for nearly a week.. since 4th, i have been in e hospital from morning till night, accompanyin mama..

niwae, Alhamdullilah cos e surgery is over.. after 4hrs in OT, dad finally came out from e OT room wif his head bandaged.. & while he's still grougy wif e drugs, he managed to give me a 'peace' sign.. went to e ICU for 1 day & back to e normal ward e next...

dad juz got back home yesterday & was relieved cos right now, it means dat he is not having any negative reaction to e ops & we r juz waiting for e brain to get used to it & slowly hoping dat e arteries will be chanelling blood to e brain very soon.. as for now, he can't stand for too long & his speech is no quite good.. but we r told to wait.. & hopefully, he'll get better in time to come..

syukur alhamdullilah, dat e ops went smoothly.. Praises to Allah.. & thanks to my frenz who gave me their well-wishes.. TY!!

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

67) e day is finally here...well, almost here la...

my dad's operation date is finally made known by e surgical team this afternoon.. he is going to be admitted tis Sat,4th & ops itself will be on monday morning,6th.. as much as u guys noe, it is a brain surgery & involves the insertion of a new vein.. it is risky but i'm hoping for e best.. & if everything goes as planned, Insya Allah he will get better (hopefully) & reduces e chances of getting a more severe stroke (like its not severe enough like dat...).. well,e laz line was wat e doctor said, not me..

yesterday, me & lin were washing my MaMan & DiNo under my void deck wif bapak & kakek helping at e laz min of waxing.. & i cant imagine e image of bapak going in to e ops room.. to me, he is still e strong man dat i can rely on for my everything,despite his sickness.. Ya Allah, plz let tis ops be a successful one.. Plz do not let anything happen to my dad..

niwae, i cant think much to blog since i got e news.. i dunno if i can get urgent leave.. i dunno if i shud juz take MC if i cant take urgent leave.. i dunno if i shud talk to my DO or my SAC.. God!! got so many things to think about... i mean, besides thinking if e ops will be a successful or not.. my head is gonna explode soon, i think.. i'm scared.. i am seriously scared.. i dunno if i shud be scared now or i shud be scared later... i really dunno wat to feel..

kakek's in sch now.. & i'm juz looking forward to going to work so dat i can escape from e reality of home.. i'll keep u updated on his journey to his ops soon ya.. right now, i really need sum sleep..


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

66) ...

i noe i haven blogged in a long time.. too lazy la.. niwae, went to P. Ubin after 10 yrs of not being dere.. went to Alpha & Kakek joined us too.. really appreciate dat he wanna come though i noe it was gonna be hard for him to mingle around.. but i think wif apid being dere, it helped him to ease down a bit.. overall, it was definitely a great trip though my arse hurts from all dat cycling.. i think its a gud way to bond with each other.. pictures can be found on my facebook soon,hmmmmm, i think... lazy la...

had seafood wif kakek for dinner after cycling cum rambutan cum durian finding trip @ Teh Tarik JW.. but 2 days ago, i had seafood again wif, guess who... my dearest long-lost-irritating-pen-pal-forever-but-hardly-see Seah!! we had 3 chilli crabs, sambal pari, kang kong & tom yam soup.. & guess wat? Seah can really finish up e crabs... i dunno wats e word used for lunch cum dinner.. dats wat we had.. too late of a lunch but too early for a dinner... hahhahah...

the reason y i wanted to blog was actually cos of e Late Michael Jackson.. i had chills wen i saw e news on CNA.. as much as my generation do not wanna admit, i'm sure he has at least a bit of impact in ur growing life.. for me, i simply LURVE him.. as a kid, my wish was to meet him & hug him.. hahahha.. lame but its true.. & at P.6, i cried in a cassette selling shop cos i really wanted the 2 cassette limited edition HIStory album (if i'm not mistaken).. a few days before e drama in dat shop, i've already cried my heart out, literally begging my mum to buy me dat, everytime i saw e advertisement on tv.. but dat album was borrowed by my sis's ex-bf & never returned since.. i think i din speak to my sis for a while bcos she refused to call dat guy to get my album back... i hated her for dat... hmmmph!!

niwae, despite all e negative issues & controversies dat he had created, millions of people worldwide feel e pain when e news was broadcasted.. we, e fans, forgived him, irregardless of any of his so-called 'wrong-doings'.. to Michael Jackson, u r always my King of Pop.. Thank you for giving us e beautiful music dat connects us regardless of our skin colour that touches many hearts all over e world.. Rest in Peace, my Idol.... & i'm proud to admit dat i'm a HUGE fan of u,anytime...

Michael Jackson

1958 - 2009

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

65) we finally had E talks

to begin wif, 'we' refer to my frenz.. thank God, e air is cleared.. i'm glad i brought up e issue cos i finally know wat my frenz r doing & at least we haf a better understanding of y we do e thing dat we did.. i certainly understand dat my frenz r protective of me & my relationship & they do wan me to b happy.. like they say, 'rambut same hitam, hati lain-lain', which simply means i may or may not agree on how they go about doing it.. but i know dat they do luv me,all e same & i noe dat i can turn to my frenz anytime for their support..

another 'we' refers to kakek & me.. we finally had E talk after soo loong.. nothing concrete but at least i noe where i stand & whether i need to prepare for e future.. i think both of us r not ready in a way or another, for whatsoever reasons eg financially, emotionally etc.. both of us r preoccupied wif e things going on rite now in our lifes dat IT is not gonna happen any time soon..

Insya Allah one day we'll b united but its all in God's hand.. wat we can do is plan but He decides it all.. watever happens now, i felt relieved wen we had E talk.. i think he has doubts on whether i am ready or not... but wat i believe in is a person will never b ready for anything until he/she is thrown into e situation.. & as for me, i noe i can do it if i wanna do it.. so for now, i really need to change my life, at least bit in terms of how i see things, how i do things, to be better prepared..

anyway, its a saturday but i'm heading to work now.. will be working till 1am tonight.. u guys haf a gud weekend ya!!

xoxo,gilerazgal

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...