i had juz occured a very embarassing moment here in my room while watching sex & eCT.. damn.. was watching Samantha doing her fireman in season 3,my mum decides to walk into my room wif baby in her arms.. so i chased her out cos i was smoking & i do not wan Dinol anywhere near my smoke.. but den... @ e very same moment,Samantha decided to scream as loud as she can get as she reached her orgasm.. FrEaK!! i wan frantically trying to press e 'pause' button.. but of cos, machines dun work wen u desperately nid them to.. mama din see any image on my screen but i think its obvious enough juz by e sound of it.. damn.. luckily,she moved off before saying, "Come Dinol.. we go outside.. bibik's smoking..!"
God, i hate Samantha!!


niwae, other than Sex & eCt.. i haf other life too,u noe.. for one, been spending time wif e fockers,which is a gud thing.. getting myself involved wif Omar's wedding,especially wif e hantaran cake.. yuhoo!! hope e cake will be a gud one & cost-friendly cos i'm planning to sponsor it.. hmmmm..
& i'm grateful to Allah for letting me noe tis family.. e whole family has been very nice & accepting of me.. & i'm praying it will be same for mine too.. Insya Allah.. So frenz,plz... plz pray for me ya.. Hopefully,they will accept the truth..
u noe e song 'Terrified'? from kara,e american idol judge..? dats wat i'm feeling now..

And I-I- I'm in Lurve...

And I- I- I'm terrified..

For e first time & e laz time

In my only Life...............

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

sex & e city... hmm.. interesting topics & interesting views.. i wish i cud b like them.. having galfrenz who r dere for u,can talk about anything & everything in e world.. though they haf their differences, they haf something similar.. : they haf each other & stand by each other,no matter how screwed up they can be..
oh well, life has its ups & downs.. & so does frenz who comes & goes.. i'm juz contented wif e true frenz dat i haf in my life rite now.. tankiu for being who u r to me.. distance & time spent together doesnt matter as long as u noe who u r..

1 very interesting topic in sex & e ct is about singles & attached (married or engaged or watever).. somehow they feel like they r being outcast juz bcos they r single.. does such a thing matter? apparently, yes.. in the western countries, they even haf singles tables in a wedding.. i'm sooo glad dat they do not haf it here in sg.. otherwise, they'll haf Sani's & my name permanently engraved dere.. hahahha!!
not only dat,for events & outings,they r often not asked by their attached frenz becos obviously,they do not wan them to be left out.. hmmm.. its bad enough dat the society is outcasting them but even their frenz r doing dat..

on another side, their crazy & heavily pregnant fren wanna get back into singlehood life,desperately.. seeing how happy & how fun the singles r, she felt a pinch & crashed their party wif her baby in tow to e party..
so wat is it in life do people wan? singlehood or attached? cant e singles mingle wif the attached?

Food for thought,people... food for thought..
=)



ps: Amin is getting married today.. =) Congrats,my bro!!


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

it has been ages since i laz blogged..
its not cos i do not haf e time but was too lazy to even log in.. 1 day become 1 week.. den 1 week became 1 mth.. hahhahah!! not dat dere's nothing exciting bout my life.. of cos,there r..
1st thing 1st,i had e most incredible & exciting trip ever to Bali for my bdae getaway.. wen wif e people i loved or so i tot.. but i enjoyed every minute of the trip.. right to e day wen i got super duper extremely swollen left eye cos of some dusty shop dere.. but i am overly contented wif my trip.. para-sailing, sight-seeing, shopping, river-rafting & most importantly,bungee-jumping!! did 2 jumps.. & its funny cos they even haf happy hour for bungy jump.. buy 1 get 1 jump free from 2-4pm.. hahah.. & i came at 345pm..
words cannot express how scared i was standing @ e platform dere & how ugly my face was,trying to hold myself together.. videos of my jumps r available on FB..
& i haf a fabulous,romantic,delicious dinner @ a villa @ Legian,complete wif a surprise mini bdae celebration.. ANYWAY,e cake was ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS!!! special thanks to all my cousins for making tis trip an enjoyable one!! luv u guys..

on another note,turning 26 was a denial for me.. i cant accept e fact dat i've not achieved wat i wan in life,like how i haf planned years ago.. i shud b married now wif a successful career,living happily wif my wonderful husband who loves me dearly,in my very own fully renovated home..
or at least,settle down a bit.. change my character abit.. in simpler words, i nid a change now dat my life dun go according to my plans..
after bali, i wanna change everything.. so laz week,i did wat i've always wanted to do but was always hesitant.. frenz can see how i've changed my outlook for now.. hopefully,my attitude will change too,slowly..

niwae, i do not wana blog much now.. but i've got 1 thing to say..

"mayb u r juz a part of me that have happened but will not happen...."

currently,i'm watching sex & the city series.. i've juz finished vol 1 & i can so relate to them bout sex,frenz & relationships.. think soon,i'll update my blogs based on e series dat i've watched.. i noe... i noe... its kinda late cos my frenz haf even finished e whole series but i'm juz starting.. but at least,its betta than never.. & juz by watching e vol 1,i've found e answer to e question dat i've always ask...

"E 1 u love or E 1 who loves u....?"

till next time....

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

As for today, Dino is no longer mine.. it has been sold to my colleague,Helmi.. auw.. i din really haf to sell it away but i guez e money can b use in a more fruitful way for my parents.. haiz...
my heart kinda ache cos it is my dream bike.. Super4 in a very bright yellow color.. but its ok.. at least i did haf it for 7 moths.. hopefully it will be happy wif e new owner.. Niwae, thanks to Helmi & wifey for buying it..

niwae, 2 days ago was e chalet thingy for Alpha @ ChangiCottage.. a lot of people din go but wat e heck.. i haf my company & it was great.. Me,Haslin & Shida put e F-U-N in fun dere,u noe.. participated in e games & it was hilarious.. special thanks to Kak Suhana for playing along in the Dog&Bone game.. though tiring & we lost,still it was great fun,panting,chasing & dragging people.. hahahha.. i got hit in e head by Shida but after seeing sum stars,i'm ok.. =)
den move on to musical chairs.. hahaha.. mcm budak2 kecik.. down to 2 contestants: Me & DO Han.. but after a 'tough' fight, i merged as the Champion!! yeah!!
Lucky draw was funny cos Haslin,Shida & me won e same thing.. hahah! So officially,i got myself a 3rd MP3.. =)
Last but not least,after e makciks was ruling e karaoke set, e 3 crazy gals took over & it was so so so sun.. we danced & laughed & sing a lot... sampai jadi kecoh sey.. at least we managed to pull in e uncles (abg rafik & aru & azali) to join in e fun.. it was such a priviledge to be able to sing wif abg gigi.. hahhaa.. wait till u guys see e vids,man.. happening giler..

niwae,Thanks to Haslin & Rashida for giving me e yellow-theme prezzies.,way too advance.. i lurve e gifts,gals... thankiu tankiu thankiu!! & it means 1 more day to my Bdae trip.. so exciting!!

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

had such a tiring yesterday.. here's e story.. came home on sat nite & went to JB Pasar Pandan wif a couple of frenz since i rented a car.. e purpose is to bring A who has never been dere before.. tour guide, me & Ir.. Since its e demise of e Sultan of Johor, most shops are closed.. niwae, i told A e reason y la.. Den suddenly, Ir came to me & said, "eh.. i noticed sumthing different la.. they r all wearing e same songkok.. cool ah?"

1 word: DUMB-DUMB..

niwae,din haf much sleep den off to e zoo wif my 4 monsters & sis.. really ah.. it was really tiring to walk e whole of zoo wif 4 kids who r,of cos,very demanding.. we wen to e kids area & of cos they had fun playing @ e wet playground.. as for me, i had to endure e hot sun.. haiz..

niwae, i din haf my camera wif me so i din take much photos.. its still on loan wif sani.. wonder wen he'll b back tis time.. really nid it back for my trip to bali tis sat.. i hope he'll b back on time,though.. i'll kill him if i dun get my camera by den.. hmmmph!!

PS: 4 more days to go..

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

sacrifice goes a long way...

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

how i wish i cud do sumthing to help.. but all i can do is to watch helplessly...
i'm sorry things turned out tis way.. i hope u stay strong & i wan u to know dat i'm always here for u,regardless...

i lurve u.. i lurve my 4 monsters.. i lurve mama.. & i lurve ayah.. i will support watever decision u make.. u can mark my words.. BUT plz.... make a decision for urself, ur well-being, for UR OWN happiness..

we'll go thru e obstacles together,i promise...

*hugs & kisses*

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

Open your eyes
And look outside find the reasons why
You've been rejected
And now you can't find what you've left behind
Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs?

She wants to go home but nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside with no place to go
No place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside

Her feelings she hides, her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind, she's fallen behind
And she can't find her place, she's losing her faith
She's fallen from grace, she's all over the place...

(-_-)

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

0255hrs

hey hey.. me still not asleep yet.. hahaha..
niwae, shall tell u guys about my oh-so-super-exciting Bali trip.. will be going on 30th Jan till 3rd Feb.. yuhoo.. itinerary's all done up.. cant wait for 2nd Feb.. me going for a bungy jump!! HELL YEAH!!!
ok. actually,i'm nervous.. very nervous.. everytime i think of it, my heart will beat very fast.. i admit.. i'm scared.. scared to death to be exact.. BUT!!! i will do it & i can do it.. even if i cant, i've already told my cuzzies to force me to jump off dat damn platform.. hahahhaha!! & i'm not gonna bother myself wif all e stories bout bungy jump gone wrong cos i dun care.. i will do it while i'm still young..
wait.. young?! i'm not dat young anymore lor.. ahakz!! dats e reason i wanna jump on my BDAE day itself.. dun worry,people.. already bought 2 insurance policies in case sumthing bad happen.. *CHOI*

=p

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

@0222hr 150110

seriously, i'm bored.. i wen online.. look @ sum frenz' pic in FB, read sum blogs den book a movie for tomolo morning.. den i dunno wat to do.. i can go to sleep, u noe.. but i dun wan to.. nothing gud is on tv.. i haf no more gud dvds to watch.. haiz...

niwae,am going to JB on monday wif Ifah.. wana go shopping den to Pasar Pandan.. think am gonna buy more drama series.. cos i got all e time in e world to watch them.. e 1st one i got for myself is Gossip Girls.. den Brothers & sisters.. very gud show,u noe... cos got Calista Flockhart.. den think am gonna get Gilmore Girls.. but i think they have more than 8 seasons ah.. bankrupt ah mcm ni.. Besides, i cant bring all in at once.. i dun wanna get caught at green channel later by my own colleagues.. hahaha!

haiya.. nothing much to say la.. so i guez i shud go to sleep now la ek.. gonna haf a looong day tomolo.. after work, me gonna watch Its Complicated wif 'Ehem'.. & its @ 0215hrs sumore.. hopefully, i wun fall asleep in e theatre.. haha!!
nitez my loves....



... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

let me tell u e 2 most dumbest things dat a mother/daughter team can do in 1 single day within a span of a few hours..

Daughter
Sleepy but still attended briefing after work.. so while trying to keep herself awake, daughter decides to sit forward,as in lean forward.. OH!! before dat,she popped a mint into her mouth.. den she lean forward wif her elbows on her knees.. den she yawns.. too lazy to close her wide-open mouth,she bend her head downwards.. & PLOP!!! e mint dropped onto e carpet floor..
Moral of e story
Dun believe anyone who says dat a mint can help u stay awake..

Mother
went on e bike as a pillion.. in a hurry cos tak sabar to meet her frenz.. den wen she's juz merely 1 metre away from e main road, she stop dad from moving any further.. & OH!! she forgot to wear helmet.. she's juz wearing her tudung..
Moral of e story
Dun be such a kan-cheong lor..


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

030110

i hope its still not to late to wish u guys a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
sorry about e lack of updates for e past 2 mths.. not dat i dun wan to but cos i cant.. my laptop was down & was too lazy to brig it for service.. hahah!! i managed to salvage my lappy only on New Year's eve.. so dun worry guys,dere will b more updates soon k?

niwae, a lot has happened for e past 2 mths.. i went to e lawyer about ayah's case den came e big wedding of e year (Lin & Dan), my dad's bdae, my negotiation to sell off Dino, planning for my Bali trip, work related issue (hot hot hot) & many more..

cant actually remember much now ah.. but dat is all history.. now we shud look forward & write about those things dat will be happening in 2010..

niwae,for e 1st time tis year, i did not go partying for e countdown (gud gal,kan? kan? kan?).. 1 reason is cos i duno where to go.. 2.I dunno who to ask since my crazy cherlyn is outta country & my group of frenz dun party anymore except for Sani,of cos. & 3. i haf to stay clean cos i'm visiting my ayah soon..
& for e 1st time too, i din even set any new year resolutions cos they r meant to be forgotten anyway..

so... all i wish for myself in 2010 is to be truely happy & live each day to e fullest.. enjoy life & haf fun instead of thinking too much.. live to love & love to life.. stop thinking bout wat others say bout me cos dey r crap! u cant please everyone in tis world & u dun haf to.. so.... i aim to be e care-free aliz.. yuHhooOoooOO!!

bring it on,2010!!
=)


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

things r getting out of hand now.. kakak & me doing all i can for e family..
things happened so much & it really saddened me especially since its Hari Raya Haji.. but wif e support of abg eman, i will be strong & fight!! *whack u in e face!!*

here's a bit of update since a lot of things happened at e same time..
= Ifah's beloved cat,Benny, past away 2 days ago.. She is devastated by tis.. At least i'm 1 of e first few to noe & i hope Benny is up dere leading a happy & joyful timee,running here & dere... always haf fond memories of dat huuuge cat..
= Linda's wedding date is nearing & i went to Geylang Serai to shop for an outfit for e sanding event.. but its eve of Raya Haji so practically all e shops dere tot i'm buying for tomolo..
= Saw Sultanah's bridal is having a sale.. Shall aim for dat cute looking pink outfit which i fell in luv immediately.. think will buy on sunday..
= Adha's being targeted by dat 'najis' @ work.. he's finding fault wif every lil thing dat adha's doing.. & to make matter worst, he had a fight wif some ah-bengs passengers.. hahahha.. mat rep!!
= hoping dat particular sum1 to be strong & hopefully,it will be over soon...
= will be going to Lin's place to haf e video shoot in an hour's time.. Nur & sani is not going to be dere.. i'm sad..
= & i wanna berak now..
niwae,

SeLamat HaRi RaYa HaJi..

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

its true,isnt it? e phrase, 'u will realize how much u lurve someone wen u lose her..'.
all tis while, e things said, e threats given,e attention asked, all dat din mean a thing? rite wen i tot things r going 2 b ok,u do all tis... for wat,may i ask? isnt it a lil too late?
all tis leads to more confusion..
wat am i supposed to do? God, lead me e way.. Insya Allah...

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

had dinner wif my whole family juz now after work.. apparently,they went to visit ayah & did a mini make-over on ayah's resting place.. cant go cos of hygiene purposes.. niwae,had a chat wif kakak & abg jo.. i'm really turning into an evil woman.. hahahhaha.. but i liiike..

niwae,its sunday & i really haf nothing to do except to wait.. wait.. wait for e return.. but at tis hour, still no news yet.. so i shall get mad & sleep it off.. hmmm... shall think bout tomolo instead.. me & ifah & haslin has a date after work tomolo!!! yeah!! so excited..

ok.. shall sleep now.. =)

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

its a saturday & its my off day.. but i'm at home,feeling damn boredom & heartache.. boredom cos i've got no plans & heartache cos i miss ayah.. days passed but i still miz ayah.. enough said about crying la... e tears flow freely everytime e image of him lying in e ground plays in my mind.. Al-Fatihah...

niwae, had a wonderful breakfast @ CoffeeBeans @ JP wif kakek tis morning.. i've been wanting to do tis in a very looong time but kakek being kakek,very slow reception la he.. niwae,we chatted for a brief 15 mins bout us.. i can feel dat he's being very sincere & angry @ me.. i noe.. but i hope he understands how i feel.. enough said.

after breakfast,kakek left to meet his frenz.. i went home to meet linda.. wanted to actually print photos @ e shop but we ended up getting a manicure & pedicure before going for her pre-wedding shoot.. i'm not involved in any way buut i still got myself e mani & pedi.. hahhaha! i'm soooooo excited.. she's getting married in less than 2 weeks' time.. 1st marriage in our gang of 4.. dunno who's next.. mayb its nur & appy.. yeah!!

i'm super bored now wif nothing to do.. i can always call ratna up but i juz dun feel like going out since it has been raining on & off.. think am gonna watch sum tv & get some sleep.. laz nite, i came back home late after watching paranormal activity.. movie is exciting but i think its better if u watched it @ home.. & i'm confused cos peeps keep saying dat dere's 2 endings.. ape ni....
niwae,off to facebook now.. HaPpY weEkeNd everyone!!

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

hey peeps.. long time no update hor.. niwae, work has been fun lately.. guez sum of u noe y.. but tis is juz e trying period.. we'll see how it goes.. *winks winks*

i'm stressed out bout ayah's stuff again.. very tired juz even by thinking about it.. had to run to more agencies since HDB is of no use.. so shall go to e lawyer's on tues rite after my nite shift.. niwae, was cleaning out my drawer full of rubbish,den i found sumthing.. a bdae card.. not juz any bdae card but a bdae card from ayah.. it reads:

Kepaba (i wrote tis kepaba when i was younger den i dun wan dat card anymore..) : Norlizah Binti Helmee

Ayah ucapkan Selamat Hari Jadi yg ka-11. Semoga dipanjangkan umur & murah rezeki.

though it was a simple & small card,it meant e world to me cos i suddenly remembered dat ayah wud never forget my bdae year after year.. i cried wen i read e card.. & i remembered him coming over my place @ Holland Drive juz to celebrate my bdae.. & u noe wat? now i noe y i'm so excited about bdaes regardless wat age it was for cos he always make me feel so special on 2nd Feb every year.. Aliz rindu ayah.... u dunno how many million times i've said, "how i wish u were here..."..

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

dunno y i haven been blogging much recently.. but i realized dat seah is worst off than me.. laz entry was about e chilli flakes.. den nowadays seldom write letters to me.. den i heard she's been wearing make-up.. WTH?? hahaha.. haven seen her wif e make-up yet.. but i'm sure she look pleasant.. juz simply pleasant. nothing else.. (its e truth,seah..ahahhah)

niwae, e other day, went for my TP & wifout telling my parents.. i keep telling them dat i'm going for my laz prac.. but thinking back,i've used dat excuse a couple of times liao.. hahahah.. & i dun think they realized dat.. niwae,i've passed my driving!! Alhamdullilah..& mama was e 1st one whom i called rite after i got my result.. I'll tell u guys more about my TP if o remember in my next entry k? Hopefully,i can rent a car soon to practice my skill on e road..

2nd Nov,me & haslin went to town to cut her bangs (oh,i cut mine too!!) & did a lil shopping.. den we headed to bugis to eat & lepakz @ Mt Faber.. mcm romantic gitu but its Haslin & me (boooring!!).. niwae, we stopped at Esso @ Telok Blangah for a peeing session.. dunno y but i took all my things except for e toilet key.. so me wanting to claim responsibility instead of juz riding off, i went in & told e lady @ e counter dat i've left e key inside e toilet.. & guess wat's e 1st thing dat she said to me..
Lady: haiyo.. den how i wanna go toilet? i haf to go to e guy's one huh?
den she proceed to complain to her male colleague & repeated e whole thing again & again..
Lady: laz time ah.. got customer bring back home e key.. but dat 1 nvr mind.. can always bring back here.. got spare.. but now u put inside den no spare.. how? u tell me how lor... No spare 1 hor..
Me losing my patience speaking in my perfect english & slang: rite now, i'm claiming responsibility for e key. so instead of u asking me how, why dun u tell me wat u wan me to do.. or perhaps u wud like to call ur manager & i can speak to him..
Male: manager ah? i think he sleep already.. laz time we haf a spare 1 but now we dun..
me obviously angry & lin din even say a word: y dun u check 1st whther u haf a spare key.. simple as dat..
male went into store.. lady still complaining bout how is she gonna to toilet..
Male shouting from inside: ok.. i handle tis.. i got e spare key.
IRRITATED,i walked out...
so u see how stupid people can get sumtimes.. they only worry about e problem instead of how to solve e problem.. i was so pissed dat i swore dat i wun go to dat esso anymore.. dumb lady!!
ok. dats my story.now i'm getting irritated juz by typing tis.

... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

Juz my tot of e day..

how to turn back time or make it go slower....?
wat is to be done to make things right.....?
wen peeps say things happen for a reason,
wat is e reason...?
wen u say u've found E ONE,
wat do u mean by e one....?


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...

nowadays i'm always tired.. recently, i sprained my back not bcos of i fell but bcos of my bike falling.. had a jab den 2 urut sessions so now a bit better la.. in fact,much better.. think i'm tired easily cos of e way i walked la.. deither dat or i'm too busy handling my late ayah's stuff.. tis is another headache to me..

i admit dat i'm more modern,more educated than e rest of my family (education-wise),more forward.. bcos of this, i think my ibu misinterpret this.. i juz wanna be a part of wat she's doing so i noe wats going on.. i called up all e necessary agencies to find out more about wat shud & has to be done.. yet,i'm misunderstood.. i'm sorry if i'm more forward than my elder sister... only mama understands y i'm doing tis..

i feel unappreciated & misunderstood.. i only wan ayah's things to be settled & do wats necessary.. my sista push me to be in charge.. but wat else can i say if ibu feels dat way? my only hope is dat ayah noes dat i'm doing tis for everbody but not for my own gud only.. & bcos of tis, i feel so tired.. shud i explain myself? i think i've already explained enough & its up to them on wat they wanna think..


... juz becos u read about me doesn't mean u noe me ...